Broken Promise

"I know, but...please, Jin, don't do this..." I begged.

"We've dicussed this. Remember?" Jin says as he walks towards the door.

"Don't leave...." I embrace him tightly as tears flow down my cheeks. "Please... don't leave me....Please stay...please" I embraced him even tighter, but I know it wont stop him. It can't, and I can't. No matter what I do, I can't stop him....cause there's no reason for him to stay.

He takes a deep breath and says, "I can't."

I feel my heart slowing down as he frees himself from my embrace. My knees, my weak knees have given up on me. All I could do is sit on the floor as he walked out of the room. I didn't have the strenght to get up. So I sat there trying to stop my stubborn tears, but I couldn't.

I tried to force myself to laugh. How could I have been so foolish? I knew this was going to happen, but I couldn't keep my distance. I should have been contented just being able to be by his side for a long time.

It could have been hours when I finally found the strength to get up. I walked outside. I can feel the cold winter breeze blowing through my shirt, but I didn't bother to get my coat. If Jin was here, he would be lecturing me right now, telling me to go back to get a coat. He would probably be complaining about having to take care of me if I get sick; then, continue on about how irrespossible I'm being right now, but in the end, he would give me his coat. If he was here...

I kept walking down the road filled with memories of the two of us togehter. This was the road that we used to take to and from school. We walked down this road everyday from our first day of elementary school until high school graduation. I've known him all my life. I can't believe I won't see him anymore. More tear flowed down, but this time, I didn't bother to wipe them off.

My feet automatically stopped as if they've taken me to where they wanted me to go. I look around and see Jin's motorcycle parked a few feet away. I see him from a distance. I take a few steps towards him, but then I stopped. I remember he made me promise a long time ago, and i did. I promised him that I wouldn't fall in love with him. I pretended to be annoyed of his arrogant request, but the truth was, I was sad because I didn't want to make that promise, because I've broken that promise before I even made it...

But I can't do this anymore. I can't be selfish. I shouldn't... He' been my best friend for as long as I can remember, but I have to let him go. It's for his sake.

I tried to smile to try and lessen the pain, but it didn't help. I could still feel my heart aching. I have to let him go now. He needs this, but more importantly, I need this. I turn around and start my way home before I run to him.

I take out my phone and dial his number. I want to hear his voice one last time, but I couldn't hit send. I know I wont be able to let him go, but I have to let him know somehow... about how I feel

Jin, I'm sorry for being so immature about this....

but I can't let you just leave without knowing my true feelings for you. I'm sorry that I broke the promised that I made to you, but I couldn't help it. I've felt this way about you all my life. That's why I've always supported you in everything that you do. I love you, and I know that you're the only one that I'll love for the rest of my life.

Send.

*Jin's POV*

"We've discuss this. Remember?" I responded coldly as she begs me to stay.

"Don't leave...." she embraces tightly as she cries. "Please... don't leave me....Please stay...please." I wanted to stay in her arms for just a few more seconds, but I can't. I take a deep breath release myself from her embrace. I walk towards the door without looking back. I couldn't bear to see her face in tears. I hate myself for causing her so much pain.

As soon as the door closed behind me, my tears begin to fall. I've held them back long enough so she wont have to see them. I got on my motorcycle and drive as fast as I could. I don't want to see this road...because it's full of her memories. Everytime I'm here, thoughts of her occupy every inch of my mind. I have to forget her, but I have to see her one last time just once. I want to see her, even from a distance.

I can't even bear the thought of being away from her, and not seeing her face everyday. She's always been there supporting me and cheering me on. In high school, she was always present in my soccer games. Now she comes to every concert, every special occassion, and every single birthday that I've had for the past 25 years of my life, but all I've done for her is make her cry. How many tennis games, and birthdays have I missed? How many time does she have to cry when I don't show up when I said I would? I thought by making her promise not to love me, I wouldn't hurt her so much.

I began to drive back to see her, but I stopped a few block away from her house. It's too cruel to let her see me again and repeat the painful goodbye. I parked my motorcycle and got off. I hate myself. Why am I so stupid. I began to kick the grass and yell out.

I still don't know if I should see her, but I started my way back to my motorcycle. I can't believe it's her. I want so much to run towards her and embrace her, but I can't. I hid behind the tree waiting for her to come closer, but she stopped and turned around.

I want to stop her from leaving even though I'm not suppose to. Please...turn around...please. Just turn around one last time. I want to see her face again, but she kept walking away. Before I knew it, she was out of my sight.

I could have easily stopped her, and tell her that I love her so much. I want to tell her that I've loved her all my life, but I couldn't because she deserves better. She deserves so much better. She deserves someone who will always be by her side. She deserves someone who wouldn't neglect her like I did. If I get one last chance, I'll be the man she deserves.

My cellphone rings. It's a message from her. I would give it all up if she tells me to. Please tell me not to go.

Jin, I'm sorry for being so immature about this....

I guess this is for the best. I'm really sorry. I know you'll do great things in the future, and your concert in Amenrica will be great. Know that you'll have my support in whatever you do. You will always be my best friend. Good luck and goodbye.

End